12th April 2006 My site manger Bruce has informed me that he is bringing in Highland (his word) 'reinforcements' from Applecross to take down the scaffolding (supplied by an English company). I have thus decided to rename him Robert (the Bruce). It still looks like a long way for mercenaries to travel. Having said that, I'll be checking every day to make sure they are not heading for Bannockburn in error. 14th April 2006 The army arrived without fuss, and the house is now sans scaffold. At last. All Work now stops as people feel the need to eat chocolate eggs and go out on motor bikes. Happy Easter.

20th April 2006 The building regs chappie visited again last week. One thing he mentions in his letter (and I quote) "No lintol on edge over gable windows with cripple studs" I'm not sure if we should consider that as a statement of fact that should be commended... celebrated even, or knock the whole house down and start again. Doubtless someone with a brain somewhere will understand it and de-cripple the studs or whatever needs doing. I always thought it was lintel anyway. Oh. By the way (he said sheepishly), you'll remember from page one of this blog... "..decided to build an 'eco friendly' house on the site, using sustainable timber, a ground source heat pump that takes warmth from the earth, solar panels.. BLA BLA BLA ...and a big garage for the V8 sports car. Hey, nobody's perfect." You guessed it. After two and a half years on the waiting list, the car I've been waiting for became available four months before the house is due to be finished. There is, of course, no way I could contemplate buying such an expensive and extravagant car whilst in the middle of a house build (even though it is one of the most jaw-droppingly beautiful designs in the history of history). It would obviously be pure folly wouldn't it... um... I pick it up next week. 21st April 2006 Almost scaffoldless. We still have the tower to do the staining - and some window cleaning by the looks of things.. ...

22nd April 2006

Even more off topic than cars...

Charlie really misses his favourite view from the bottom of the garden.

(Well I like to think he does).

 

24th April 2006

I just received a call from the site manager, and today there have apparently been four joiners, three plumbers, and an electrician working all day on the house - which is really good news. I've decided not to work out today's labour cost and drink a glass of wine instead.

I remembered today something my architect said to me a few months ago: "Don't worry, when you build your next house, you'll already know all the pitfalls"

People do this more than once?

 

25th April 2006

A word about the tool hire company to whom I returned all goods on November 30th 2005...

... and from whom I get a bill every month requesting payment.

DEC:

"The above amount is overdue for payment. If you have any disputes on your account please contact our credit control department"

I phone the credit control department and inform them that all hired goods have been returned and that I don't owe them any money. They apologise for their obvious mistake and then send a 'final reminder'. So I phone the credit control department and inform them that all hired goods have been returned and that I don't owe them any money. They apologise. They are not sure how this has happened.

JAN:

I get a bill requesting payment. So I phone the credit control department and inform them that all hired goods have been returned and that I don't owe them any money. They apologise for their obvious mistake and then send a 'final reminder'. So I phone the credit control department and inform them that all hired goods have been returned and that I don't owe them any money. They apologise for their obvious mistake and say they are having problems with their 'system'.

FEB: MAR: APR: (I'm tempted to annoy you as much as they are annoying me by continuing this loop, but I won't).

It is Groundhog Hire, and having got my fifth phantom invoice, I'm getting slightly irritable. The fifth 'final reminder' will be here next week. Such joy.

Dear Credit Control Department,

Stop sending me bills and final reminders and FIX THE SYSTEM!

Victor Meldrew.

 

1st May 2006

Meanwhile... there is a house to build - and the wood floor is going down in bedroom three.

Bedrooms two and three (guest bedrooms) both have balconies (so that we don't have to see our visitors too often).

Bedroom three has the advantage of an upstairs balcony, so suicide is an easy option.

 

4th May 2006

I'm just off for an extended trip north to have meetings with joiners, plumbers, electricians, decorators, tilers, layers of driveways and Nick from Sustainable Buildings - and to give wads of used notes to all the casual labourers (and some of the not so casual ones too).

We need to give three months' notice on our rented accommodation in the Lake District. We are hoping to move in August. This weekend is crunch time*.

Gulp.

* no, not time for biscuits.